As we fall, all we can tell ourselves is: “I will be fine. Everything will sort itself out”. It becomes a sort of mantra. We say it over and over, just desperately trying to convince ourselves that it is the truth and not some fruitless repetition of false words. When everything seems to be crumbling down around you and all that you are left with is the sensation of falling and falling and falling – you realize that there is no such thing as rock bottom.
People say that once you hit the bottom, there is nowhere left to go except for up, to reach new heights. Oh what a terrible falsehood. Those words aren’t a comfort when you realize them for what they are; a stealthy entrapment – and a cruel one at that. Because life is like a black hole, a bottomless pit that is full of nothingness – or empty if you’re the pessimistic ‘glass half empty,’ kind of person. But empty or full, you are still going to fall.
Of course there are good times – points of brilliant light that flash past like shooting stars – but in the end all that you are left with is the emptiness.
We might even find others to cling to as we free fall – those who fill our minds and our hearts with oaths of steadfast companionship and dependable sources of warmth. But in the end, we face the hard times so very alone. Because they can hug us and we can lose ourselves in that most passionate embrace of release, but we are the only ones to feel what our own heart does and think the thoughts that pass unheeded through our tortured minds.
Alone – in death and through the hopeless times, through the joy and the heartbreak, and then finally in death – we will forever be alone. That is the only truth. Our aloneness is not only guaranteed but also comforting. For when all you can depend on is yourself, you become the only one who can disappoint yourself, the only person in the entire world who can break you.
So yes, being alone is the easiest way to plummet through life.
And those shooting stars that draw the eye as you fall and fall – brilliant points of warmth and light that offer comfort? Simply a cruel trick of the light, they’re not really there.
It’s impossible for there to be light in an endless midnight.
But like all true die hard fans of Harry Potter, Eragon and Lord of the Rings, you thrive on the impossible.
Rather Unorthodox 
April 13th, 2013 at 6:20 am
Reblogged this on Confessions of an abstract mind.
April 13th, 2013 at 12:49 pm
Thanks for re-blogging xx
April 13th, 2013 at 6:58 am
You are falling through a man hole, I know, I’ve fallen down one before.
What you don’t realize, can’t see in the darkness, is that the man hole has metal rungs, a ladder, and it takes the courage to reach out and grab just one. That’s all it takes. Only you can pull yourself out of that hole.
Yes, that means you’re alone, and you need to rely only on yourself, but you then don’t need to share the benefits of the rewards you get either. They’re all yours.
And since you’re the only one to keep yourself company, well, the better the company, the more pleasant the experience. So allow yourself to become the best friend to yourself you’d always wished you had.
What is that person like? Her hobbies? Her personality? That person that would be the most ideal friend? The most fun?
Become that person. Become that person for yourself. Because that’s the person who will have the strength to climb out of the hole, one rung at a time.
Those shiny bright lights can be real, but they gotta come from you.
April 13th, 2013 at 3:59 pm
Interesting post and in many ways I agree, although i have found that a single life can be soothing/